Consent

IF YOU’VE BEEN SEXUALLY ASSUALTED

Call the 24hr crisis hotline

760-757-3500

You may also need to seek out some medical care for STD and pregnancy testing

GO TO VISTA COMMUNITY CLINIC

Or call Vista Isabella Health Center of Vista, Planned Parenthood 888-743-7526

WHAT IS CONSENT?

When it comes to sexual activity and sex, you have the right to decide when you do it, where you do it, and how you do it. For any sexual activity to happen, both people need to consent, or say yes, willingly and freely. Sexual activity does not just mean sex, it includes kissing, hugging, making out, cuddling, and touching someone’s body in a sexual way.

CONSENT IS...

  • Freely Given

    It’s not okay to pressure, trick, or threaten someone into saying yes. And you can’t give consent if you’re drunk, high, or passed out.

  • Reversible

    It’s okay to say yes and then change your mind — at any time! Even if you’ve done it before, and even if you’re both naked in bed.

  • Informed

    You can only consent to something if you have all the facts. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, there isn’t full consent.

  • Specific

    Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean you’re saying yes to other things (like having sex).

  • Enthusiastic

    When it comes to sex, you should do stuff you WANT to do, not things people expect you to do. If someone doesn’t seem enthusiastic (meaning happy, excited, or energized), stop and check in.

teenager-relationships-consent-statistics

1 IN 5 TEENS

Will be the victim of date rape.

A FEW WAYS YOU CAN ASK FOR CONSENT:

  • “Would be okay with you if… ?”
  • “I’ve always wanted to try ___ what do you think?”
  • “This feels good for me, does it feel good for you?”
  • “Are you comfortable with this?”
  • “How do you feel about this?”
  • “Do you like this?”
  • “What are you comfortable with?”
  • “What do you like?”

But what if you are the one who is not into what is going on or you were not asked.  Not everyone stops to ask for consent and might attempt to kiss, touch, or do something you are uncomfortable with. Telling a person you are not into something can be hard and you may worry about what the other person is going to feel or say, this is normal. But if you do not want to do something you never have to apologize or explain why.  You have the right to say No or Stop and that is enough.

HERE ARE SOME OTHER WAYS TO SAY NO:

  • I don’t like that.
  • I’m not into that.
  • I’m not ready for that.
  • I don’t feel like it today.
  • I really like you, but I don’t want to do that right now.
  • I’ll only do that if we use a condom.
  • How about we do ____ instead?

If a person you are with tries to pressure you into something you are not ready for, they do not respect your boundaries and that is not ok.  If you say “no” or “stop” and they continue that is sexual assault. It is NEVER ok for someone to touch you in a sexual way without your permission.

ARE YOU A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
Call Our Toll-Free 24-Hour Domestic Violence Crisis Hotline

(760) 757-3500